Dishonored: Six Million Ways to Die, or Not

News, screens, and footage of Dishonored never fail to disappoint. I haven't seen any other game that looks like it might come close to Arkane's first person stealth action affair except for maybe Halo 4, and I only say that as an extremely biased champion of the Halo series. Last week, Bethesda offered us two sizeable clips of how metal-faced terrorist Corvo Atano gets down, so I wanted to make sure you are all on alert for this wild ride of teleportation, possession, and stabbiness.

Dishonored allows the player to act as they see fit and solve problems with a soft step or the sharp end of a sword, with various means to each end. Feeling stealthy? Teleport up a building and mosey through an open window. Or, possess a freakin' fish and swim in through the sewage system. If living the piscine life doesn't sound appealing, stop time and put a crossbow bolt through 3 simultaneous faces. Or, stick a grenade on a poor sap and gust him out a closed window, showering the world below in shattered glass and flaming limbs. Or just summon a pack of rats to do your bidding. Either way, options are good, and you will have plenty of them come October 9. 

Pre-order Dishonored from Amazon

Dishonored Shows a Gory Victorian Futurism

Bethesda and Arkane's next shit has graced us with two bloody handfuls of Dishonored gameplay, which has me pumped to assassinate masked guards in me-mode! Little known fact: I'm head over heels for the way under utilized first-person slasher genre. 

Though the graphics aren't really wowing me, Dishonored looks to be a whole lot of cut throat fun with its roof jumping, sanguine gushing, magical power wielding, Victorian futuristic craziness. And the star of the show is of course that incredible collapsible butterfly sword. Hey Bethesda, pack one of those things in the Collectors Edition and charge $200 for it. You'll have my Benjamins thrown at you instantaneously! 

Well Hello There, Dishonored to Meet You

Disclaimer: The following trailer contains absolutely no gameplay footage. Those of you who will view this clip and immediately write it off for containing no gameplay should save some time and not even bother. Me? I'm just about ready to cream over this shit. 

I'm a huge fan of just about anything that has Bethesda's name on it, either Softworks or Game Studios. In fact, perhaps the only action of theirs I disagreed with in recent memory was the beef with Notch, but that's beside the point. I always enjoy Bethesda's creations and publishings, and Dishonored ain't no different. What would you say about a game that mixes Half Life, Assassin's Creed, Thief, and BioShock? I'd say best game evar! Too soon? 

In all seriousness and without jumping to nonsensical conclusions, Dishonored has the style, elements, and pedigree to open the eyes of the blind, turn water to wine, and blow some motherfucking minds. New IPs are always exciting, even moreso when they're not a run-of-the-mill first person shooter, which this appears not to be. I'm excited, and you should be too.