I've been lambasting Bulletstorm from what seems like day one. Why, you ask? Well, the graphics and effects are amazing, the action is off the charts, and the skill/style based combat rewards creative fragging.
It all sounds good until the characters start running their mouths, and that's where it goes downhill for me. In one word summation, "dick tits". That's what the writers have sunk to. However during this incredibly fast paced, short-lived demo, the script was not on display, nor was the atrocious voice acting. It's all about killing with skill.
+ A bloody, adrenaline rush of a good time + 300 kickin' and beam whippin' lets you get creative with kills - Hero Grayson Hunt looks like Billy Ray Cyrus - Too much health, almost impossible to die - Way too short
After playing the enthralling demo twice, (and watching my associate play through twice) I came away with a changed mind. I didn't think the action of Bulletstorm could be worth sitting through the rusty nails I was prepared to have forcefully kicked through my ears, but I may be eating some serious crow come February 22nd.
If you're a fan of juvenile shit talking, big guns, blowing off limbs, and style kill combos, tomorrow is gonna be a good day for you. Epic Games and People Can Fly's newest title, Bulletstorm, is about to get all demo on your ass for Xbox 360 and PS3.
I have a hard time hiding my feelings for Bulletstorm. It looks great, graphically and gameplay wise, but I can't get with the awful voice acting and script written by a 15 year old. I can only tolerate one game making butthole jokes, and that right is already taken. Spending some time actually playing the game might sway my opinion, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Give it a run through tomorrow and let us know what you think. Methinks even if Bulletstorm is sub par, it's going to make money on the Epic Edition alone, which gets you into the Gears of War 3 beta. Now that's a fine plan to raise sales numbers.
People Can Fly and Epic Games' newest project is something called Bulletstorm, a slick little number that adds a dimension of style and skill to the typical FPS mold, rewarding you for finishing your enemies in the most amazing and ridiculous ways. Cliffy B hopes this addition will endear Bulletstorm to the refined FPS gamer, and if that won't reel 'em in, the lowbrow humor will!
In its favor, Bulletstorm features a great art style, lovingly detailed, beautifully rendered locales, and hectic action which focuses not only on putting your target down, but humiliating them, and doing it with flair. Also, giant machines and giant dinosaurs. If the two come together at any point, this could obviously be a candidate for game of the year.
With so much going for it already, why does it seem that People Can Fly and Epic are trying much too hard to give the game an edgy, shit-talking personality? "You scared the dick off me", "son of a dick", and "strap that dildo on" are just some of the choice one-liners heard, a true homage to the art of video game writing. The banter between characters seems to stay at this level of human regression throughout. So one must ask oneself, can I sit through six to eight hours of mind-numbing chatter about dicks, dildos, farting, et al? I have a hard enough time getting through 30 minutes of South Park.
These script choices makes me question what kind of audience Bulletstorm is aimed toward. Growing up, games like Duke Nukem 3D andShadow Warrior cracked me up with their use of random swear words, urinating, farting, and adult themes. Though as a teenager at the time, things of that sort appealed to my childish sense of humor. Now, in my late 20s, the fart jokes and cursing for the sake of cursing don't have the same draw. I don't want to say this decision is alienating mature gamers, because I'm sure most will play Bulletstorm regardless, on the strength of the game itself, but the target demographic most definitely has to be a younger crowd. More specifically, the kid who's on the limited edition Halo: Reach Xbox 360 paid for by mum, who at 2am insults everyone in his Team Slayer game with all the cuss words in his narrow vernacular. That's the type of person who hears "what the dick" and has a revelation to start using the phrase with his friends in the school yard the next day.
I guess I'm a fickle gamer; some decisions that most don't even notice can rub me the wrong way. I had a hard time playing more than 20 minutes of Enslaved: Odyssey to the West because I couldn't deal with controlling a Jersey Shore reject. I have a feeling I'll have a similar problem with Bulletstorm, because the substance of a well written story and script is infinitely more appealing than saying dick 12 times in a under a minute. Yet in its vast beauty, and it's potential for insane fun, I fear I may have to suffer through the writing of pre-pubescent, rage-repressed, Halo Matchmaking momma's boys.
Out came Cliffy B to the E3 stage to show off Epic's latest offering, Bulletstorm. And then I retched. Not at Cliffy B's ever-increasing smug douchiness, no, I retched at Bulletstorm. Sure, the graphics are nice, and the over-the-top gameplay is something you and I should like, but.. Argh, the voice acting is awful! That is a forgivable sin, but argh the script is fucking AWFUL. Those in a pair can be just barely forgivable, but ARGH, an enemy just made fart noises upon being shot in the ass. Fart noises? In my game? It's more likely than you think. And more annoying too. We're not 12 anymore, Cliffy. I understand you're making this game over-the-top, but that doesn't mean you have to go all Terrance-and-fucking-Phillip on us.
What say ye, o faithful readers of OBG? Yay or nay on Bulletstorm?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011 at 6:20PM 
