GC10: The History of Metroid in 7 Minutes

If you're like me, you're a smooth-talking, handsome, dynamite lover in the mold of Lando Calrissian. You'd also be a shameless geek, who has a hard time sitting through any online video over two and a half minutes, unless it's something really interesting. The latest Metroid Other M primer is seven minutes, but it's fascinating enough to keep your attention easily locked in place.

Maybe you've never played a Metroid game. Maybe you have, but your beer-soaked, pot-clouded brain can't recall details from it's above average story. That's definitely not the category I fall in to. Either way, the following trailer will bring you sufficiently up to date on Metroid's storyline in preparation for Other M. You should watch it. 

Metroid Other M Shows Us The Goods

Previously on the Metroid Other M saga, we saw Samus doing some platforming, running, ballmorphing, walking, inspecting, jumping, and other yawn inducing tasks. We also saw ourselves falling asleep to the tune of that horridly boring shit. Now here we are, just a shade over two weeks before Other M's release date, and we have an exciting new peek at the gameplay that excited me in the first place.

The Other M trailers have been Jekyll and Hyding the hell out of me with it's boring gameplay, exciting gameplay, boring cinematic, back and forth. I guess Team Ninjatendo did the right thing by saving the best for last. Samus is looking good in this latest tease, showing off a bunch of her killer moves in the most stylish ways possible. Hayabusa would be proud.

Metroid Other M releases Tuesday, August 31st. 

E3: Metroid Other M

Sweet merciful Zebes, what the fuck happened to Metroid Other M? When we last heard from the Team Ninja and Nintendo collaboration, it's mix of stylistic gameplay and fly cinematics was getting me hard. Now we have.. This shit. Two solid minutes of in game action which produces 45 seconds of ball rolling, and another 30 seconds of first person visor-views. What the fuck, really?! Where is the Metroid meets Ninja Gaiden action we saw in the first trailer?

SMH, Team Ninja, SM-effing-H. If Tomonobu Itagaki were still at the helm of Team Ninja, this trailer would be a minute and thirty seconds of Samus backflipping and wave-ray blasting and missile launching and Ridley DDTing and running through Metroids leaving a trail of pureed jelly in her wake. And then her boobs bouncing for a good thirty seconds more. SIGH, I think I have a crush on Itagaki-san.

Here's the trailer. I dare you not to fall asleep.