Dragon's Dogma: A Child to Raise and Call Your Own

Written by Jason McKoy

Just the other day I saw Skyrim sitting in a seedy bar, sipping on a flagon of mead and lamenting some of his past decisions. Then walked in the sexy mistress World of Warcraft, causing the old boy Skyrim to suddenly perk up. World of Warcraft may be longer in the tooth than some of the other patrons of this dive, but make no mistake, she is just as sexy if not sexier than the other floozies. And man, is she’s experienced. She doesn’t walk, she glides. She doesn’t sit at the bar, she hovers by it. She is the only thing thus far to raise Skyrim’s head, sunken in skooma and waning hype. He looks at her and whispers one word: "Wow." The night ends much like it usually does in fantasy scenarios: liquid courage, modern-primitive courting rituals, Skyrim finger-banging WoW in the bathroom, and the two shacking up together, blackout drunk. The next morning, the walk of shame.

Six months later WoW contacts Skyrim with some interesting news. She’s pregnant and he’s the father. Rather than chalk it up as a one night stand and deny his patriarchal role, Skyrim does the noble thing and fathers up, raising the kid as his own. Though one day, he begins to notice that this child doesn't look much like his supposed father. The two have very little in common aside from the mutual enjoyment of action and RPGs, the similarities end there. Skyrim begins to question whether or not this bastard is even his own. In spite of WoW’s protestations, Skyrim demands a paternity test. Knowing of only one surefire way of making absolutely certain that this child possesses his DNA, he does what so many men in this situation have done before him: he turns to the wise sage Maury Povich.

Skyrim discovers that the child he has been raising for all this time, who he trained in character classes, taught the ways of the Dragon, and travailed an arduous open world where danger lurks behind every blade of grass, is not his own. Skyrim discovers WoW has been seeing two other men, Resident Evil and Devil May Cry; wild dudes from Japan that are painfully successful in the East and tremendously popular in the states as well. With mother and father at ends, what does fate hold for the child? We will find out come May 22 when Dragon’s Dogma releases for 360 and PS3. Featuring stylized combat and visuals that only Capcom know how to forge, an exciting combat engine, and an intelligent spin on the typical dungeon crawling AI controlled party, Dragon’s Dogma looks like the child you have always wanted. It will take just as long to nurture and raise, given the tremendous open world and numerous NPCs, all with unique features and personalities. Be prepared to dedicate your (social) life to this baby until either it reaches maturity, or you grow old and it puts you in a home for the rest of your elder years, alone and neglected.

Editor's Note: I still uphold my boycott of Capcom titles until they get their business practices straight, however Jason makes a mean argument. -Ernie

Deciphering Dragon's Dogma: Less Demon's Souls Than Expected!

Dragon's Dogma is a game I've written off as a Demon's/Dark Souls clone, and hence have had little interest in, despite the healthy buzz it has created for itself. Though after playing the demo, I'm singing a bit of a different tune, as the game played surprisingly well.

The demo was playable as two distinctly different characters, a fighter (warrior) class and a strider (ranger) class. I observed my associate trek through a dimly lit cavern to tackle a chimera bookended by a mess of goblins and harpies. The battle was rough and tumble, but enthralling to watch. The chimera's physical appearance slowly whittle away with his health as the fighter and his crew of computer-controlled compatriots punctured the beast in all possible ways, except for that one, pervert. The assistant AI was surprisingly efficient, doing everything from healing the party to imbuing elemental weapon enchantments, and at appropriate times to boot. This is good, as the inability to issue direct commands to your party was a spot of worry for me. Between the intelligent AI and the very very very loose command system, there will be a minimal amount of worry when it comes to your teammates actions.

The strider segment was, in stark contrast to the fighter's, bright and open, transpiring in a grassy field under the blue sky. The strider and squad were tasked to taking down what I believe was a Griffon. There are a lot of buttons to figure out and not much time to do it, so I jumped into the fray and got busy. It seemed the strider's scenario was much more complex than that of the fighter's. Bow shots and dagger swipes are your meat and potatoes, with enchanted special attacks to help distribute damage. I don't know if there is an enemy lock-on function, but I had a hell of a time trying to track the griffon as he soared above my party from all directions. When it landed, I would pump him full of arrows, and when he took off, it was back to trying to locate him quickly enough to fire a bolt or two. At some points, my tank would call for me to use her as a catapult and launch myself onto the griffon. When successful, the experience became a Shadow of the Colossus style climb and stab affair, which was quite fun until I misstepped and fell back to the ground with the rest of my party. I died shortly after.

The moral of the story is that I suck as a strider, but Dragon's Dogma has some promise. Playing the demo really opened my eyes to this bad boy.