Fus-Ro-Damn! All 200 of Skyrim's Voice Commands

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I don't know about you guys, but tonight I plan on getting drunk and screaming at my TV until the wee hours of the night. Until either I lose my voice, my neighbors complain, or my roommate tells me to "shut the fuck up!" I can't wait. If you, like me, plan on screaming at Skyrim via your Kinect-powered Xbox 360, here is a handy list of all 200 voice commands in one nice little pdf, courtesy of our friends at Bethesda.

In completely related news, Skyrim's first downloadable content, Dawnguard, has been officially revealed with an image. Yes, the image that you see in part in this post's header. No other information has been released aside from said image. Except for the fact that it will be available this summer on Xbox 360 before any other platform. Aw yea, more drunken screaming. Let's see your PlayStation Move do that.

Skyrim Kinect Voice Commands

Grand Theft Auto V Retreads Familiar Territory

Here it is, kids. Rockstar has finally released the first trailer for GTA V, and I must say, I am disappoint. Of course, no post about a Rockstar title would be complete without my infamous jaded eye toward the well-recieved juggernaut. It's been a long running friendly feud between R* and myself since I was completely underwhelmed by Red Dead Redemption. Though I was worried about L.A. Noire, and that turned out to be a great game, so anything can happen.

Grand Theft Auto V brings the series back to the West Coast, in what appears to be Los Santos, the fictional equivalent of Los Angeles. If we're to judge by the trailer, I'd say the character speaking is a man of Hispanic descent. He makes it very clear that he's relocated to Los Santos to find a better life for himself and his family, though if this is a GTA game, we know he'll end up becoming involved in some illegal hijinks somehow.

Is it too early to pass judgement? Of course. Though this whole 'former criminal trying to start a new life only to be dragged back into crime' angle is way overplayed, especially in the Grand Theft Auto series. That said, I still don't know 99.9% of the story behind Rockstar's latest. There were some rumors about multiple protagonists, so maybe - hopefully - one of them will come from a different pedigree, who knows. I will say the graphics look incredible, while sticking to the GTA style that fans of the series have come to love. Also, funky music. I can fux with it.

Let the countdown to GTA V trailer #2 begin. 

Galactus Celebrates his Marvel vs. Capcom 3 Reveal with 185 Hits

Galactus is a busy man. When he's not eating planets, or being a douchebag, he makes appearances frustrating the shit out of gamers, most recently in Marvel vs. Capcom 3. 

He appears, talks a whole lot of mess, creates Cosmic infused clones of Marvel and Capcom villains, then takes off, presumably to feed his cat. After you're done with the clones, who happen to have the ability to consistently double team you, Galactus returns and casually laces you with 185 hits of finger lasers, before he hammer-fists, and subsequently KOs the Earth. Good times!

The encounter looks like a stressful affair for sure, but taking on Balrog, Vega, Sagat, and M. Bison at 8 stars was no cakewalk either. Totally ready for Galactus and his cheap tactics.

Deus Ex: Release Date Convolution

The next episode in the Deus Ex saga, Human Revolution, has just been delayed. Instead of March 2011, the hotly anticipated title's release slides back, to the broad area of anywhere up to Spring 2012. Square Enix says that the delay is necessary to add more 'polish' to the game. 

That guy at the desk is our hopes, and Adam Jensen's kick ass arm-blade is a cold serving of reality.

Meaty Super Meat Boy Updates

Those wacky and lovable fellas at Team Meat are very close to rolling out an update for the incredibly awesome Super Meat Boy. The update will fix a few bugs that have plagued users, and to make up for the trouble, Team Meat is giving their adoring fans a brand new world!

Teh Internets, as it's called, will feature new music and 20 new stages based on, you guessed it, the interwebz. I guess that means we can expect plenty of trolling, hardcore pornography, and racism to go along with the other pleasantries. And just like Teh Internets, it's free!

That's a good look for Xbox gamers, but PC gamers get an even better look. Those who have patiently waited it out for the PC version will be heartily rewarded when the game releases during the last week of November. First of all, Mr. Minecraft will be an included character. If you haven't heard of Minecraft, where the hell have you been? Secondly, Mr. Minecraft is black?! Holla, equal opportunity! 

Super Meat Boy on PC will have a bunch of other awesome additions, such as 5 characters not seen in the XBLA version, and a freakin' level editor. Does that mean sharing community maps? That could be something special. Time to dust off the Steam account come the end of November.

REVIEW: Rock Band 3

They say the music game is dying. That it's a stale genre with no innovation, that it's all been done and there are no further mountains to climb. Indie artists are more than willing to implement their work into music games, but most of the popular and iconic musicians are still wary. Songs and albums are too expensive, especially since you can only listen to them in game, as you play them. With the odds against them, Harmonix releases the third entry in the genre-leading Rock Band series, in an attempt to save the plastic instruments. 

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Black Ops is Just a Week Away, is Just a Week Away

Technically maybe a little more than week, but regardless! Here is an awesome trailer for Call of Duty: Black Ops set to the sounds of The Rolling Stones' Gimme Shelter. I'll need shelter alright, to play Black Ops uninterrupted in 8 hour sessions at a time. That's what I'm talking about!

If the sights and the sound of the following trailer aren't enough to ruffle your feathers, check your pulse. If you are indeed alive, then maybe you just need something a bit more extreme to stimulate your senses. How about this: Black Ops' zombie mode will allow the players to control John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Fidel Castro, and Robert McNamara. This foursome may even one up Left 4 Dead 3's rumored Midnight Riders. Also, dibs on Castro.

Head over to Kotaku for a Dead Ops spoileriffic intro and some gameplay.

REVIEW: Super Meat Boy

Disclaimer: The following review may unintentionally contain excerpts which some readers may find inappropriate yet hilarious. Any use of the word "meat" in a giggle-inciting manner has not been done on purpose. That said, are you ready throw throw your Meat headfirst into a gauntlet of circular saws?! 

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NYCC10: A Few Minutes with Dead Space 2 and a Developer

We had a chance to sit down with Dead Space 2 producer Zach Mumbach and ask him a little about what makes his game tick. In true developer fashion, he doesn't reveal too much, but we get enough out of Zach to make it interesting. 

Before watching him play, I was able to log 10 minutes or so with the demo on the floor, which is "very close" to being an end product. I liked what I saw and enjoyed what I played, the build was polished and handled tightly. The graphics are sharp and detailed, and the environments seem to exist to haunt the player. The sterile and cramped confines of the stage I tried really messed with my head. Blood and severed limbs strewn around the floor panels should have really alerted me, but I was still rightly spooked when a necromorph burst through a panel from behind and forced me into a gruesome retirement.

The experience was topped off by entering an eerily beautiful cathedral area where I fought a boss who has a stinger with a fetus growing on it. Dead Space 2's art designers are sick sons of bitches, I love it. The stinger makes for one of the sickest death animations we saw, and you will too in the video below.

I'm very excited for Dead Space 2, which for a player should be all about ambiance. It's all fun and laughs on the Comic Con show floor, with plenty of lights and a flood of people around, but when the game releases, and it's just you in a dimly lit room with no one home, that's where the real fun begins. 

Dead Space 2 releases January 25th, 2011.

Retro City Rampage; Throwback Fun and Radioactive Plumbers

Hypothetical question: You're hanging out in the sewers, when all of a sudden, a radioactive plumber comes flying out of the nearest pipe and right at you! Sluggish to react, the plumber bites you on the arm! What do you now? Stomp really hard on someone's head, then throw his unconscious body into the sewer water, then go back above ground and stomp the shit out of anyone you can find, that's what. And that is exactly why I cannot wait for the 80's Easter egg hunt that is Retro City Rampage.

Side note: how awesome is the music?