Weekend Timekillers

Time Killers is a once a week post dedicated to some quick and dirty images, videos, and miscellaneous links found out there on the interwebs. Mainly interesting and funny stuff that I don't get around to writing about, but are still worth a look. Enjoy this weekend's Time Killers.

I'm Commander Shepard and this is my Favorite Garrus Vakarian Cosplay

Custom Marvel Legends Galactus, Currently $76 on eBay

Ahh! Real Metroids!

Dreamcast VMU with an iPod Nano built in

The $300 Metroid Prime Gunship is Money Well Spent

Red Dead Pumpkin Carving

The Origin of Acheivements

Retro City Rampage; Throwback Fun and Radioactive Plumbers

Hypothetical question: You're hanging out in the sewers, when all of a sudden, a radioactive plumber comes flying out of the nearest pipe and right at you! Sluggish to react, the plumber bites you on the arm! What do you now? Stomp really hard on someone's head, then throw his unconscious body into the sewer water, then go back above ground and stomp the shit out of anyone you can find, that's what. And that is exactly why I cannot wait for the 80's Easter egg hunt that is Retro City Rampage.

Side note: how awesome is the music? 

Fez Still Exists, Still Looks Amazing

Way back when, I saw a trailer for a game that looked absolutely incredible. My goldfish memory had since long forgotten about said game, without any updates, screenshots, or trailers the indie title may have well been dead. 

Last night, the fleeting memory of this once forgotten bit of indie amazingness kicked down the the door of my inner cortex, where it had been held hostage, and proceeded to slap the taste out of my mouth repeatedly. And I loved every second of it.

Fez is not dead, thankfully. Developers Polytron are still hard at work finishing it up, being perfectionists I guess. When can we expect a release? Sometime in 2011 hopefully, but honestly, who knows. Are we willing to patiently wait? I dunno about you, but you bet your ass I am. Git 'er done, Polytron!

Side note: Polytron has released some Fez 8-bit musical dopeness to tide us over. They care!

Call of Duty: Black Ops Zombifying, Customizing

A lot of Call of Duty: Black Ops stories this week. Achievements have been leaked (warning: minor spoilers). Zombies have been confirmed. Customization has been flaunted.

Treyarch has finally confirmed one of the worst kept secrets ever, the inclusion of zombies in Black Ops. After the success of the zombie mode in Call of Duty: World at War, how could they not? Dead Ops, as it's called, is a four player co-op romp against the undead horde. Preorder the Hardened or Prestige edition, and the four zombie maps from World at War can be yours at no extra cost! No word on whether or not the normal edition cheapskates can get some zombie lovin' yet though. This site has been put up by Treyarch to tease zombie mode. It features creepy music, surveillance video, and people in military clothing shuffling around clumsily. How very zombie-like! 

And for the coup de grâce, the multiplayer customization trailer. The level of customizing Treyarch has added is awesome, allowing you to paint your face, choose different camo types for your clothing, and put your clan tag or personal logo on your weapon. And no longer are you able to access all unlocked gear once you reach a certain level, now you have to be the required level on top of purchasing the item with currency earned through fragging and completing challenges. Just like Halo: Reach! Which is just like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2! Which is just like.. Damn, so much idea sharing going on, I'm losing track. 

It goes with out saying, Call of Duty: Black Ops is going over the top to keep gamers reeled in. With the dissolution of Infinity Ward (thanks, Kotick) Treyarch has to show the world that they're comfortable being in the drivers seat of the Call of Duty series now. Black Ops is a step in the right direction.

A Farewell to Kingmakers

Riding the rising popularity of the check-in app, Fable III standalone mini-game Kingmaker is set to release for your smartphone. Kingmaker, in similar fashion to Fable II's Pub Games, is a nice way to earn some in-game cash before the game's release.

You choose a fictional Albion alignment, Rebel or Royal, and proceed to run around your city, smartphone in hand, dropping virtual flags around territories to claim them for whichever faction you've aligned yourself with. It's like Foursquare, except you won't get laughed at when both your Facebook and Twitter account proudly announce you have become the mayor of the porta-potty on Bleecker Street. Instead, for claiming territories, you compile gold that can be transfered to Fable III and used to purchase armor, weapons, and player customization options.

Sounds like fun for us boorish Americans, right? Lionhead Studios doesn't think so, so they've decide to keep Kingmaker as a European exclusive. Do they not realize the check-in craze here in the States? You got people killing each other in the streets for that Foursquare mayorship, son! The New York Times, in all its prestigious glory, wrote a two page article on the battle for mayorship of a freaking alleyway. Shit is going down, this is serious business! We can't get any Kingmaker love? Okay Lionhead, I see how it is.

Outland is Gonna Be Big

What do you get when you combine classic side-scrolling action with elements of cult shooter Ikaruga? An orgasm. What else? Outland, a beautiful bash of genres that features killer gameplay and an intriguing story. Developer Housemarque has done well to keep information about Outland under wraps, but what little we know thus far sounds like good stuff.

Set in Mexico City, Outland's protagonist is experiencing nightmarish visions that have impacting his ability to function in daily life. When traditional forms of therapy and medicine fail, out hero seeks help from a shaman who lies deep within the forests of the Yucatan. From here, you find out you're involved in something bigger than nightmares, you get a sword, and you slash the life out of enemies five times your size, all while platforming, switching polarities, and avoiding 'bullet hell' death traps. Or in other words, Saturday night. 

This game is gonna be big. Don't believe me? Watch the video. Aside from the narrator's terrible voice acting, good things all around, I'm sure you'll agree.

Some Things Should Not Mix

Written by contributing author Pedi Talai

As a short, dorky, buck-toothed 9 year old, I would play video games alone on most days. I didn't have many friends, the combination of little league baseball and video games were my modern day beer and masturbation. Video games were my escape from reality. A reality where getting picked on and staying up all night from reading Goosebumps was the norm. My game of choice was Tekken, my second game of choice was Street Fighter 2. The games I enjoyed the most were each other’s enemies. Usually you liked one or the other, but as a freak of nature, I was obsessed with both. They each stood for something, each different in their own way.

Let me make this clear, Tekken and Street Fighter were enemies. They were rivals, competing for a place in gamers’ hearts, begging to be fed quarters at the local arcade. Their cabinets were always next to each other, longing for attention and change like the local crack head. The people that played one typically stayed away from the other. I enjoyed this rivalry, maybe it was because I was a spoiled brat that owned both. Or maybe, because in a weird sadistic way, I was happy they didn't like each other. Regardless, it was what it was. It was the same thing as Dodgers vs. Giants, or Red Sox vs Yankees. Society accepted and thrived off of their hatred. They almost needed to hate each other, as they were competing in the same genre, for the same demographic.

Then something strange happened. That's putting it lightly, something anarchic. To me it was the equivalent of Ralph Nader and Dick Cheney taking turns giving each other piggy back rides and sharing a single Push Pop. It was like the pretentious hipster in high school trying out for quarterback and dating a cheerleader. What could be this twisted, you ask? The answer is hard to fathom, to speak, even to type; Tekken and Street Fighter are going to be in the same game. Why did this happen? How could this be? It's called Street Fighter X Tekken? When I found out, I did what any sane human would do; drank a bottle of whiskey, shaved my chest, and passed out. The next morning I woke up and stared thoughtfully out my window, wondering if it was just a dream. I turned on my computer and Google searched Tekken X Street Fighter. It was not a dream, this was really happening. These enemies were taking the easy way out. It was like being a virgin and buying a hooker to own up to the brutal truth that you probably weren't going to have sex any time soon. For God’s sake, at least keep trying. 


Over my right shoulder, an angel speaks to me. She calms my nerves, and tells me this may actually be okay. She has big, pierced breasts full of Kool-Aid and Reeses Pieces. "Everything is going to be perfect. You can now combine your favorite characters from each game, and do what you’ve secretly always wanted to do. You can even tag out and swap characters with more of your favorite characters from each series. You don't need to play any other fighting game again, this is it big boy. Namco is even making another game with the same theme, called Tekken X Street Fighter, so you can use Street Fighter characters in the Tekken engine! Be happy, this is going to be great!"

Immediately after she concluded, the Devil on my left shoulder retorted. "This is ridiculously stupid. The World Warriors fighting the Kings of the Iron Fist? Yoshimitsu Isn’t supposed to fight Ken. You mean they’re making Street Fighter X Tekken, AND Tekken X Street Fighter? Why are there two different games? If they’re going to try and pull off this stupid idea, why can't they just package it in two discs? One disc you use the Tekken engine, and the other, Street Fighter engine. This is a poor excuse to make money and to try and bring the world together. There will never be world peace, so quit wasting our time by acting like there will be!"

I don't know how to feel anymore. If I buy these games will I lose respect for myself? What if I actually enjoy these games? I don't have answers for these questions and needless to say, I am confused.

Pedi's first time flipping someone off was when his mother wouldn't buy him Street Fighter 2. Three years later he staged a burglary on his own house, fooling his parents into believing their television and Super Nintendo were stolen. Pedi set up the missing equipment in his closet, where he finally had his very own gaming haven. 

A Look at the Fall 2010 Xbox LIVE Update

The new Xbox LIVE update will go out to day for the masses who applied to partake in the beta. For those of you who didn't, in your face suckas!

Not all is lost for you however, as you can see some of the differences in this video of terrible, terrible quality I've thrown together. So if the tragic quality doesn't make your eyes bleed, I hope this flick will be of some interest to you. Here's a quick overview of the update's features:

• Complete dashboard redesign
• Tweaked avatar design
• ESPN3 live streaming and on demand sports (where available)
• Updated audio codec for improved voice communication
• Kinect support for gaming and motion/voice control ala Minority Report
• Netflix search function (finally!)
• Zune looks pretty

Of course all these changes are not without some drawbacks. Upgrading to the beta means you can't communicate in party chat with anyone who is still on the old dashboard. Game chat should be no problem though. Codec compatibility issues? Also, most of your avatar marketplace items and game rewards won't appear on your likeness, probably until the the update is out of beta and available to the general public. So until late October, prepare to have a little less personality. Hope you weren't trying to impress anyone of the opposite sex, good lookin'.

Overall this is a step in the right direction for Xbox LIVE. The tweak to the voice comm is a huge help, and ESPN3 is going to be pretty popular I'm sure. What do you think of the changes, do we have a winner, or did Microsoft DmC this one?

Side note, does anyone want to contribute to the OBG video capture fund? Anybody? Ho-kay.

Screen Talent, Voice Talent, and Fable III

As you and I both know, video games are a big deal. A multi-kajillion dollar industry that employs some of the most talented, behind the scenes people in the world, who work toward releasing a product that is both more original and more fun than the box office and television combined. It's only a matter of time before video games become more popular than both. Just don't say it'll be more popular than Jesus, that's a kiss of death. 

As video games expand outside of the gaming subculture, the general public is becoming increasingly aware of gaming's artistry, influence, and revenue generating prowess. I don't know if actors can be considered as general public, to half the world they're these awe-inspiring figures of lavish tastes, who must be followed, photographed, gossiped, and generally gushed over. Eh, fuck it, actors are general public, they get no special treatment from me. Unless they're gamers, then they're awesome.

But I digress, video games are on the radars of most sensible actors, and why not? While the pay and treatment may not be as rewarding as working on a big budget Hollywood flick, the workload is no doubt significantly less demanding. Voice acting can be a legitimate source of exposure and coin in between films. Millions of people around the world will be playing this game Mr. hot-shot actor, they will hear your voice for hours on end, and once they complete that game, depleted yet content, they will return to the warm glow of their computer monitor and proceed to illegally download purchase your best works, which they remember fondly after helping you rid the world of an ancient evil pact forged by zombies and ninjas. And you did it all while being between films, your belly swollen with the nectar of your most recent film release, Final Apocalyptic Justice VII: The World Warrior. Job well done.

So it's no surprise that developers are able to recruit well known actors as voice talent, with the once respectable clip of cross-over stars now beginning to rise as the success of the games industry continues to climb skyward. The latest example of this is illustrated by Fable III of all things, enlisting the talents of well respected English actors Stephen Fry and Simon Pegg, along with borderline legends Sir Ben Kingsley and John Cleese. Impressive recruits, and for these who happen to be video game talent first timers, a classy and deep project to tie themselves to, and make losing their game acting virginity a rewarding and enjoyable experience. 

While there may be no competition for the classic video game voice actor, it's definitely good to see the medium I love so much garnering respect from those whose craft is classic acting. With Hollywood becoming an uninspired remake machine, and TV stooping as low as jacking Twitter accounts to turn into prime time television, perhaps the games industry will continue to entice popular actors to lend their credibility, so that mainstream media will truly understand the legitimacy that game geeks like you and I are already aware of. Now we just need to figure out a way to get the politician's heads out of their asses, and stop their unadulterated hate. 

Eleven Minutes to Hold You Over Until All Shadows Day

It's no secret here that I love the Castlevania series, but I'm not without my doubts for the latest entry, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow. While all the press release videos made me pound my computer desk with overjoyed rage, behind the scenes gameplay videos didn't really stir me the same way. They looked bland and without personality. 

The seven-plus minute trailer from Tokyo Game Show rested my concerns regarding the characters and the storyline. What at one point I thought may have been too influenced by western fantasy such as The Lord of The Rings, I was starting to see was truly Castlevania at its core, regardless of whether or not it was borrowing from Tolkien or Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Today, Konami brings us a new trailer, that is more epic in both scope and length than the nearly-short-film that premiered at TGS. Yes, eleven minutes of details, narrative, and most importantly gameplay. One month, two trailers, nearly twenty minutes of footage. That's a lot of Castlevania to tease as pre-release hype. Yet we have no reason to fear, as there is supposedly twenty hours of gameplay in Lords of Shadow, so a measly twenty minutes ain't no type of spoiler for us, nope. 

This eleven minute behemoth preps the potential player for what to expect on October 5th, or as I've come to call it All Shadows Day, because I will be sitting at home, shades drawn, candles lit, smoke in the room, playing Lords of Shadow all day. What was once considered skepticism and cautious optimism has grown into full fledged excitement. Watch the trailer, and if you don't feel the same way, then you ain't no friend of mine, friend.

All Shadows Day looms, stay tuned for the review.