Dude, Where's My F-22 Raptor?

Written by contributing author Mark Hagan

Let me preface, I don’t just drink the Rockstar kool-aid, I wring it from my grape stained T-shirt so as not to miss a drop. Before Grand Theft Auto 3 decided to release its soundtrack on CD, a buddy and I hooked up a Playstation 2 in his car to listen to the radio stations in game via FM transmitter. Geek tendencies are sometimes late to bloom.

With the success of Red Dead Redemption, Rockstar not only managed to redefine the sandbox archetypes of old, but resurrected a genre in the meantime. Being brought up on a steady diet of John Wayne, Kevin Costner and Jimmy Stewart, aside from my cannibalistic tendencies, I have always dreamt of roaming the open prairie with steed underneath and breeze in my face. GUN was a solid offering when the Xbox 360 launched, but its limited scope failed to capture the vastness of characters and landscapes so often found in the old West. Fantasies aside however, Rockstar made the Western "cool" once more.

Could Rockstar administer the Lazarus treatment elsewhere? (Ping Pong is not a genre by the way, but everyone deserves a mulligan.) Man has always, and will always, dream of flight. However this genre, more than any, is on life support. Its pedigree is impressive though: Space Invaders, Star Fox, Rogue Leader, Crimson Skies, and to some degree, IL-2 Sturmovik. The problem is, almost all of these games are nearly a decade old! Ace Combat, as one of the benchmarks, is a visual marvel, but lacks personality. In fact, the only flight game to score above a 9 on IGN in the last 6 years is the Xbox Arcade offering Snoopy: Flying Ace. Gangsta, it is not.

Rockstar on the other hand could inject new life to this rigor mortis afflicted genre. Ask yourself, as soon as you popped in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, with the printout of cheats by your side, what was at the top of your list? Get to the chopper! We know they can do it, even when they aren’t trying! I spent countless hours perfecting the touch-n-go at Francis International in my precious Dodo.

Imagine the social commentary Rockstar is known for, fused with outlandish characters (Hughes), incredible adventures (Earhart), infinite destinations (the freakin’ Moon, allegedly), and the spectrum of aircraft (see destinations). These elements mixed into a historical romp of the birth of aviation to the present day. Hell, even pre-birth with Da Vinci’s flying machines, and travel straight through to.. After-birth? Yeah, we’ll go with that imagery. Rockstar can get away with it, and if it is Rockstar, one thing is certain, it would be done right.

Mark has been gaming since the days of the Atari 5200 and such classics as Dig Dug and Eggomania. The Dreamcast was a turning point for him with games like Seaman and Jet Set Radio. His love of gadgets, games and geekery stems from his curiosity of innovation through art, and vice versa. His turn-ons include the sound of cellophane wrappers and warm sake in the morning.

Weekend Time Killers

Here's the once a week section for the site, dedicated to some quick and dirty game images, videos, and miscellaneous links found out there on the interwebs. Mainly interesting stuff I'm too busy to write about, or one offs that aren't worthy of their own post, but still worth your time. Enjoy this weekend's Time Killers.

Former Bungie VP tears Activision chief Bobby Kotick a new one

Stallone is rip Bobby Kotick a new one too

Andrew Bynum doing his Jesus Christ Pose in EA Sports' NBA Elite 

Master Chief leads a Spartan army across the Delaware

The Official Sport of Halo, Grifball, comes to Reach

Armor Lock is handy in Halo: Reach, not so much in the real world

8-bit Megaman Deathmatch with 50 plus weapons? Sweeeeet

Airbrushed Dreamcast's are art on top of art

What's an Explodemon?

Explodemon!, is a game created by independent developers Curve Studios, based on old school 16-bit platforming, that takes some of it's artistic flair from Megaman X, and adds a physics based puzzle system to the mix. Say what? Say it sounds sweet, because it does. 

Curve calls Explodemon! a loving parody of badly translated action games, and a mixture of Yoshi's Island and Half Life 2 if they were fused into one game by quirky Japanese developer Treasure. Uh, I don't know about that exactly, but it's all good. It's a little bit of Megaman X, 'Splosion Man, puzzles, a combo system, slick art style, and lotsa purdy colors. Color me interested.

Sonic 4 Lights Up Your Life

Growing up, there were some things you could not separate me from. Forging my gangsta by listening to classic hip hop, molding my geek by playing video games, and refining my palette by eating raw dough. Don't front, you know you ate it too. As a hardcore gamer in training, I tried to own, play, and love every system I could, and I did for the most part, but for some strange reason, I was always a Sega fanboy. 

Maybe it's because I didn't need a game to entertain myself with the Master System, or because I didn't need blood codes to indulge in some fine gore, or because Sonic was an infinitely cooler mascot than Mario, who knows, but I miss Sega's heyday. Being a throwback to classic Sega vs. Nintendo days is probably why I'm so excited for Sonic 4. That and the fact that solid hedgehog games have been hard to come across since Sonic Adventure (which coincidentally is available to download on XBLA or PSN.)

Sonic 4 hearkens back to the two dimensional speed, spins, jumps, tilts, and power ups of classic Sonic the Hedgehog gaming, while infusing some elements of the newer Sonic titles, all sexy and high definition. It's really good stuff. Don't believe me, see for yourself in the attached trailer for the Casino Street Zone. It's just like the incredibly designed Casino Night Zone of Sonic 2, except, well, street. I can dig that, streets are gangsta.

So Sega, when are we getting Sonic Spinball HD? I'll just keep my fingers crossed for that one.

Fallout: New Vegas, and The Post-Apocalyptic Sunset

Bethesda Softworks has outed a lovely TV spot for it's upcoming opus Fallout: New Vegas, and when I say lovely I really mean it. I admittedly slept on Fallout 3, having not playing it until maybe six months or so after it's release, but I'm really glad I got around to it. As one of the best games I've played in recent memory, Fallout 3 was not without it's drawbacks, which New Vegas looks to improve on, and add to tenfold. 

The ambiance of New Vegas is a rapid departure from the ruins of Washington D.C. While the awesomeness of seeing our history destroyed and inhabited by super mutants and ghouls blew my mind, traversing from point A to point B got bland fast. If you didn't happen upon a tattered national monument, there wasn't much to be seen in D.C., unless of course you crossed paths with a traveler, or a stray robot, or a super mutant, or some other kick-ass randomness. And even though it was these things that mattered, that kept the game engaging, and that made me want to wander around the wasteland looking for the next random situation my character could become involved in, part of me was still lulled to sleep by the District of Columbia's far-too-typical post apocalyptic snooze-fest of browns and grays.

Enter New Vegas and it's well captured spirit of the old Vegas' panache. Sure, the neighborhood ain't as pretty as she used to be, but the charm is still there. Bright lights, flashing advertisements, exploding buildings, and a vault that looks like a freaking casino! That's a nice touch right there. New Vegas even features beautifully vibrant skies to get your eyes their daily dose of colors. Gone are the two-toned nuclear winters of Washington D.C., replaced with mythological things, like the post-apocalyptic blue sky, and sunset.

Above all else, Fallout New Vegas looks to deliver where it matters: gameplay, story, and the immerse world of throat-cutting and slaver-gutting that Fallout 3 so aptly portrayed. Gambling, shooting, exploring, blowing shit up, and tough moral decisions. Now all I'm left wondering is, will we be able to solicit ghoul prostitutes? 

Fallout: New Vegas releases on October 19th

8BITS Brings 2D to Life with 3D

2D and 3D games, can they coexist? Of course they can. Over the past few years, 2D games have been increasingly shunned in favor of big budget 3D titles. Though 2010 has been a great year for 2D, indie developers, and the downloadable title. With strong showings at gaming conventions this year, it looks like quality 2D games will not go quietly in the night.

The short film 8BITS seeks revenge on those who have forsaken 2D. With beautiful animation, interesting character models, and explosive 2D action sequences, 8BITS brings a whole lot of quirk and old school nods to the the expanding roster of game-related short films. I would love to see this as a full length, in IMAX, where those wide shot action sequences would be a a visual overload for gamers.

But what the hell is up with the hoodie and boxers, main dude? That ain't gangsta.

The Gameplay of Bioshock Infinite

Today, the good folks at Irrational Games have opened to the public that which was only previously available to the press behind closed doors; Bioshock Infinite gameplay. 

As much hype as Bioshock Infinite has been receiving since it's announcement, it would be a damn let down to have anything other than primo in-game action in this reveal, and Irrational knows it. So they went and gave us a huge ten minute chunk which looks to be taken right from the early stages of the game, and man, does it look polished. This is definitely a Bioshock game, as the action and use of 'plasmids' picks up right where it all left off in Rapture. The graphics are silky smooth and beautiful in action. The cartoonish art style, which seems to be gaining some popularity recently, spares no details and is beginning to grow on me. I can imagine the game handling very tightly and responding well to user commands, as the first Bioshock did under Irrational's watchful eye.

I have some concerns with the game that I'll be sure to cover down the line, but right now, gameplay is not one of them. Irrational and 2K Games have definitely served their purpose well today, judging by the good amount of positive press this trailer has gotten. Let the injection of new Bioshock Infinite media continue!

Fable III Just Got a Little Awkward

Fable is a great series, that for some reason flies under a lot of gamer's radars. The idealistic creator, Peter Molyneux has a penchant for grandiose declarations regarding his brainchild. One of the things developers Lionhead Studios tried shoehorning into Fable II was online co-op. That didn't work so well. Molyneux is on record recently saying the Fable II's co-op was flawed, rushed, and a badly implemented throw in to what was a very solid game.

Enter Fable III, which looks to fix the issues that plagued gamers in the first two series entries, including the botched attempt at co-op. The awesome Fable experience, coupled with a proper online multiplayer will only enhance gameplay and replay value, of course. But, it'll add a whole lot of weird. MyGamerCard.net (minor spoilers within) has outed Fable III's list of achievements, which get a bit on the odd side. Case in point:

• He’s a Woman. She’s a Man Wear a full set of clothing intended for the opposite sex
• Long Distance Relationship Get married to another Xbox LIVE player
• Cross-Dimensional Conception Have a child with another Xbox LIVE player

So, not only can I, but I am rewarded for cross-dressing, marrying, and having children with other human players, who are most likely fat, smelly, pock-marked geeks, just like me? Awesome, sign me up! 

The Fable series has never been without it's quirks, good or bad, so just add these to the list. I'll excitedly pop a copy of Fable III into the ol' box and play for hours. But let's just say I won't be going for the 1000 Gamerscore. 

Fable III releases on October 26th.

Pokemon; Harder, Darker, Edgier, Still Lame

I don't know what it is about Pokemon or why everyone loves it. Yet here we are, 14 years, 13 films, and 30-plus games after it's introduction and for some reason, it's still going strong. It's like the song that doesn't end, except it spans multiple mediums and has Nintendo's infinite funds fueling it.

I could go on and on about my disdain for Pokemon, but a lot of geeks love it, and I can't go against my people. So, in support of the Poke-gangstas out there, I bring you the fairly well done live action Pokemon trailer, which thankfully, does not feature the abused and overused Inception theme. 

Can you spot all your favorite Pokemans? You should be able to, since they stick out like sore thumbs. If you're able to name them all though, you have reason for concern.

Every Day The Same Dream

I like flash games. Every Day The Same Dream is kind of a flash game. I use the term game loosely because it seems to be more of a social commentary than a game. Games are meant to be tools to escape reality and find ourselves a place of enjoyment, or are sometimes used to present education in an entertaining way.

Every Day The Same Dream, feels like more of an independent short film than anything else. The fact that you have control of the focal character, and that you can control the ways in which a few days of his life play out make it a game. However, there is no beginning. There is not much in terms of an end. There is no explanation to why things are happening they way they are in the life of this faceless man, who could be you or me.

Is there even any fun to be had playing this "game?" I don't think so. Yet for some reason, after playing through and figuring out how to complete the very loose story, the experience dwindled in my thoughts as I went through my morning routine. What you've just read may make you want to avoid Every Day The Same Dream, but you should really play through it, from start to end.

Play Every Day The Same Dream