E3: Fallout On-Line?

Fallout Online is happening. As a fan of Fallout 3, I'm mildly interested in seeing what this has to offer. Click the link above for a disgustingly slow loading webpage. Seriously, Interplay you guys need to speed that load up. Did I just say Interplay? Yes, Bethesda seemingly has nothing to do with this title, it's back in Interplay's hands, who were responsible for Fallout and Fallout 2. Good or bad? You tell me. No really, can you tell me if that's good or bad? I've never played either of the first two Fallouts.

Here is that horribly slow loading website again. Click it. Then go make love to your woman. Then come back to see that the website is still loading. Once it's done loading, bask in the ambiance. Caps, a pistol, some Polaroids, old time jazz, the whole shebang. It'll ask you to sign up for their mailing list, which I normally wouldn't suggest, but doing could grant you access to the beta. So, you might wanna do it. And really, would I ever steer your wrong, dear reader?

E3: Dead Space 2

I never played Dead Space. It looked intriguing, but time and money constraints just didn't allow me to give it a shot. After I saw this Dead Space 2 gameplay demo.. Holy hell. I need to buy Dead Space and get into this series, because this sequel looks absolutely ridiculous!

Just watch it. Both parts. It's about 7 minutes of gameplay, and every second of it is worth your valuable time. Let's be honest, you're probably reading this at work or school, so I'm sure you have nothing better to do anyway. But I digress, watch it now!

E3: Portal 2

The original Portal was a game that snuck up on a lot of people last year. When I first saw the trailer, I knew it had some serious potential. If fact, I purchased The Orange Box strictly for Portal, and hardly played anything but that (HL2 and TF2 purists can bite me). As brilliant as it was, the game wasn't without it's faults. Mainly, it was too damn short!

Portal 2, hopefully, looks to rectify the length of it's predecessor while keeping the addictive gameplay, stiff difficulty, and quirky humor. GLaDOS wants to put our differences behind her. For science. You monsters.

Shit just got real. I'll consider this a purchase on your part, because if you don't buy it, you're crazy man! The question will be, can Valve give us $60 worth of gameplay, or will they charge us less for another game we can beat in a few hours?

E3: Super Scribblenauts

I wanted to like the original Scribblenauts. I really did. It was a fun, if not silly romp through the English language with the Nintendo DS. What bothered me about it was that you could not control the protagonist with the d-pad, and the missions seemed way too simple. Thus, the great concept of this game was defeated. The sequel, Super Scribblenauts is looking to correct the issues I had with the first. Yes, the developers called me personally, asked me what my beefs were, and fixed them. How's that for customer satisfaction? D-pad control, deeper missions, expanded dictionary with adjectives, and an incredibly cheesy trailer.

E3: Xbox Live

According to some hotshot at Microsoft, there are a lot of great changes and additions in store for Xbox live. First and foremost, Netflix for XBL is no longer borderline worthless, as you can now search for titles to add to your instant queue right from your Xbox. What a novel idea! Some other things were said, blah blah blah, who cares. The only other thing of interest is probably the ESPN content streaming over XBL. Watching ESPN programming on your 360 is pretty cool. Taking ESPN trivia, declaring team allegiance and polling your online friends about their favorite teams, not so much. But it's the idea that counts, right?

E3: Golden Eye

The remake I have been waiting ages for. Now that it's been announced, I'm not so sure about it. I realize GoldenEye is originally a Nintendo game, but to put this on Wii as opposed to 360/PS3 is a step in the wrong direction. Does anyone even play Wii games online? Imagine having an 8 player slap match over Xbox live? I can't. Well, not anymore, now that GoldenEye has been announced for Wii. And did the trailer just say play as 8 classic Bond characters? Didn't the original GoldenEye have somewhere close to 40 selectable multiplayer skins? I want to play as the dude in the banana-yellow jumpsuit, damn it!

E3: Fable III

Peter Molyneux talks a good game. A master of hyperbole, his games are always cutting edge, revolutionary, on the door step amazing and uncharted video game territory. While the Fable games have never lived up to the Peter Molyneux Hype Machine, they've always turned out to be very good games. Fable II's simple three button fighting system proved to be fun as hell; easy to learn, rewarding once it's been mastered. Lionhead Studios has itself a nice thing to build on, and while Fable III's E3 trailer doesn't show much, it doesn't have to for you to know that the game has some promise.

I can't wait to have a threesome with a whore and my neighbor's wife. Then shoot the whore in the head. And watch as my neighbor's wife's tummy swells with my child. And laugh as my neighbor realizes the child isn't his and divorces his wife. Then stab my neighbor with a falchion, and move into his property to live with his widow. After she births my child, I will raise him to be as evil as I. And after incessant nagging, I will incinerate her with a fire spell, leaving my bastard child as I venture to a new town to complete the vicious cycle again while my son begins his own life of debauchery. Oh, Fable.

E3: Star Wars The Old Republic: Hope

Like I said before, LucasArts knows how to do trailers when it comes to this Star Wars thing. In what is the Yin to the original The Old Republic trailer's Yang, this cinematic entitled Hope is gorgeous. And this time, the good guys win!

E3: Metal Gear Solid: Rising

I haven't played a Metal Gear Solid game since the first half of Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty. Go ahead and hate on that little fact. I enjoyed the hell out of the first MGS, but to me, they just seemed to tail off after that. I was underwhelmed with the first half of MGS2, and decided not to continue for two reasons; 1, because I played it at my friend's house, and 2, because I felt like I had better things to play. I had become disenchanted with the stealth action genre when the action aspect of it took a back seat. That's why I'm so excited for MGS: Rising.

Kojima will do with this game what he does for his other games. Involved story, great cinematics (though hopefully more gameplay than cinematic this time around,) meticulous attention to detail. Add to the Kojima formula for success a few touches of awesome: swords, destructible environments, gore, bullet time. Yes, if Tomonobu Itagaki and Hideo Kojima made love, their child would look something like this.

E3: Tomonobu Itagaki and Devil's Third

I was deeply saddened when Tomonobu Itagaki was released from Tecmo. It meant that he was no longer helming favorite franchises of mine Ninja Gaiden and Dead or Alive. Will Tecmo continue his tradition of hyper-violence, gore, and obscenely busty women in his absence?! Who knows. But for the boozin', gamblin', Yakuza lookin' and all around handsome man Itagaki, life continues. That life is his new studio, Valhalla, and his latest game, Devil's Third.

The game looks good. That's it. It's not wowing me like Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden 2 did when those trailers were released, but it looks like he's on the right track at least. Violence? Check. Stylized action? Check. Sexy women? Check. Okay Itagaki-san, color me intrigued. We'll see how this title continues to shape up.