Google, Me?

Word on the internets has it that Google is in the advanced stages of creating a social networking site to rival Facebook.

And thus, Google's master plan of world domination continues. It's amazing to me how quickly they roll out quality goods and services, the broad range of categories they cover, and the staggering percentage of positive feedback and publicity they get. 

World Domination I tells ya.

Google is not a total n00b in the social networking scene, having rolled out their Twitter competitor, Google Buzz, to less than rave reviews. They gaffed the privacy big time on that one. And if there's one thing these days you don't want to fuck with, it's the environment and the pretentious green movement. But second to that, and more pertinent to this article, is privacy. Facebook knows this too well, after some privacy problems of their own to go along with some choice comments from the CEO. 

Well Google, here's your chance. You fucked up so badly with Buzz, you'll know how to do it right this time, won't you? A lot of people are ready to abandon ship on Facebook because of it's privacy concerns, but won't do it because it's the only real middle ground social networking site. Google Me has a chance to steal a nice chunk of Facebook's audience and corner another market that it forcefully stole from a well established leader. Let's see if they screw this up.

Unboxing the New Xbox 360 Slim

A few days late, but I finally got my grubby, finger-printing (more on that later) paws on the new Xbox 360 Slim. Nice! I really like the new redesign. It looks much smaller, and it is, next to the fat Xbox, you can really tell the difference. Weight wise, the SlimBox isn't much lighter, but it is noticeable.

Pros:

• Runs quietly
• Tiny, portable hard drive
• Touch responsive power and eject button feels sophisticated
• Slightly smaller S-controller with all black finish and mirrored home button
• Built in wifi
• More vents means extra cooling

Cons:

• Hotter to the touch than the FatBox, even with all the vents
• Gloss finish is a fingerprint whore
• Slighly smaller power supply brick is still a brick

All in all, it's a nice piece. And coupled with GameStop's ridiculous trade-in promotion, this is a great time to upgrade. 

El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron

If there's one thing I'm a sucker for in pop culture, it's new takes and redesigns of one of the oldest things we know; religion. More often than not, reimaginings of religious lore turn out to be half baked and sad attempts, but for some godforsaken reason, I dig it anyway. So that brings us to this game, El Shaddai, created in part by the dudes who brought you such games as Devil May Cry, Okami, and Viewtiful Joe. Nice resume.

El Shaddai casts you in the role of Enoch, out doing Lucifer's bidding, who in turn is doing God's bidding; having you round up fallen angels. Yep, Lucifer is still an angel. And there goes the plot: last boss battle pits you against a fallen Lucifer, calling it now! But really, this game looks like an acid trip, meets Okami, meets the Old Testament. And that is totally a good thing. The trailer is on the long side as it's pretty story heavy, but I promise the dreamy and tripped out visuals will keep you entertained for the duration.

So let's recap; we have an interesting plot based upon religion, trippy graphics, smooth platforming, a flowing battle system and Lucifer wearing a two-piece suit. Hmm.. Move over Katamari Damacy, I think recreational drug users have just found their new game of choice.

NeverDead(pool?)

What if we told you that there's this game in which you take control of a wise cracking protagonist who John Woos two pistols, keeps a sword on his back, and can regenerate from apparent death? You'd say "holy shit, Deadpool: The Game!" Yeah RIGHT! Who are you kidding buddy? Too good to be true. No, this game is NeverDead, a new story from the guys at Konami, who by the way had a pretty nice E3 showing this year. NeverDead has quietly generated a bit of buzz for itself, because we love (most) things that aren't sequels or reboots.

Seeing the initial screenshots for the game, I thought it looked pretty neat. Now after watching the trailer, I gotta say this protagonist seems like he'd get pretty annoying after a few hours. And the gameplay footage left a little to be desired. Third person shooter has now become synonymous with Vanquish. Sorry NeverDead, but you do have a promising future. We will not pass by with disinterest next time you appear, and that is a good start for you, amongst the expansive crop of crap.

John Carpenter says 3D is Bullshit

Thank you John Carpenter for bringing some publicity to what we've been saying all along. 3D is stupid. An article on Destructoid quotes:

"I was around for the first wave of 3D in the 1950's. In my opinion, against a lot of the industry experts who have said recently every movie will be in 3D very soon, I think it's bullshit. I don't think it will. It's a way to take more of your money. It's a way to separate you from a lot of bucks. It's cool, but it's gimmicky, I think."

We couldn't have said it any better ourselves, John. You hear that Kirk Cameron? 3D is bullshit and so is Titanic. And Avatar.

NBA Jam Puts the Nail in the Coffin

I want to share with you a secret; I don't like the new generation of basketball games. You know why? Too hard. I miss the golden age of arcade cabinets in the deli and pizzeria, when basketball games were as easy as putting a quarter in the slot and bricking threes with Charles Oakley in your face all day, son. So, after not feeling the need to own a console basketball title since NBA In The Zone for PSX (when the announcers pronounced Spreewell as Sprule,) I think I'm gonna give this NBA Jam a shot.

It looks EXACTLY like the NBA Jam I remember. Easy, fun, addictive, flashy, silly. But wait, you know what was one of the things that kept us playing NBA Jam? Codes. What we haven't seen of this NBA Jam thus far are the codes! Finally, a game that wont lock achievements and trophies because we're using codes! I want big heads, small bodies, Bill Clinton, George Clinton, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and Arsenio freakin' Hall! I don't need to see the codes in action though, because I trust that there will be plenty of code mods to keep the game fresh and funny for ages.

You're dead to me NBA Elite (if that is your real name,) and NBA2K11 (I always hated Jordan anyway.) Bring on NBA Jam!

E3: Vanquish

Vanquish, is a very cool sounding word. Say it with me, Vanquish. I think we sound noble, yet deadly. Vanquish. Vanquish is more than just an awesome word. It's Sega and Platinum Games answer to Gears of War. And that answer is on just about every amphetamine you can imagine. This thing is pumped! The voice acting is a concern, as is the story, but it looks like the action could quite possibly make up for those flaws. Look at the vibrancy, the frantic pace, the weaponry, the giant baddies, and the swarmer missiles. Gods, I fucking love swarmer missiles. Watch the trailer. If you're not excited to sit down and play this game, watch the trailer again. If you're still not excited to get your hands on this thing, you're quite possibly deaf and blind.

Vanquish!

E3: Bulletstorm

Out came Cliffy B to the E3 stage to show off Epic's latest offering, Bulletstorm. And then I retched. Not at Cliffy B's ever-increasing smug douchiness, no, I retched at Bulletstorm. Sure, the graphics are nice, and the over-the-top gameplay is something you and I should like, but.. Argh, the voice acting is awful! That is a forgivable sin, but argh the script is fucking AWFUL. Those in a pair can be just barely forgivable, but ARGH, an enemy just made fart noises upon being shot in the ass. Fart noises? In my game? It's more likely than you think. And more annoying too. We're not 12 anymore, Cliffy. I understand you're making this game over-the-top, but that doesn't mean you have to go all Terrance-and-fucking-Phillip on us.

What say ye, o faithful readers of OBG? Yay or nay on Bulletstorm?

E3: Assassin's Creed Brotherhood

I haven't played Assassin's Creed since the first installment. Stop judging me for being a game blogger and not having played a ton of good games!

Ahem.

I haven't played Assassin's Creed since the first installment. Ubisoft just won me back with the Assassin's Creed Brotherhood multiplayer. The following extremely well crafted trailer illustrates the game of cat-and-mouse we can expect. If the multiplayer isn't really your switchblade up the sleeve, try this trailer instead. Of course, neither of these are showing any real gameplay, but regardless.. I'm a sucker for trailers that fuse cinematic action seamlessly with a dope track. Ubisoft did it once before with Massive Attack's Tear Drop, and now they do it again with These New Puritans' We Want War.

E3: Metroid Other M

Sweet merciful Zebes, what the fuck happened to Metroid Other M? When we last heard from the Team Ninja and Nintendo collaboration, it's mix of stylistic gameplay and fly cinematics was getting me hard. Now we have.. This shit. Two solid minutes of in game action which produces 45 seconds of ball rolling, and another 30 seconds of first person visor-views. What the fuck, really?! Where is the Metroid meets Ninja Gaiden action we saw in the first trailer?

SMH, Team Ninja, SM-effing-H. If Tomonobu Itagaki were still at the helm of Team Ninja, this trailer would be a minute and thirty seconds of Samus backflipping and wave-ray blasting and missile launching and Ridley DDTing and running through Metroids leaving a trail of pureed jelly in her wake. And then her boobs bouncing for a good thirty seconds more. SIGH, I think I have a crush on Itagaki-san.

Here's the trailer. I dare you not to fall asleep.